EEEEEP!

I woke up this morning feeling horribly anxious. Then I remembered the best advice I've ever gotten as to how to calm myself enough to face the day, and it came from Irving Berlin:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep
Counting your blessings

True, I was looking to get up, not sleep, but it worked well nevertheless. I also remembered that work is a great remedy for anxiety for me. I therefore made a few plans:

✓teach
✓apply for jobs
✓settle arrangements for the cats over Thanksgiving
✓vacuum and mop
✓put away laundry
✓clean remaining laundry (so we have lots of clean clothes for the holiday)
✓cook dinner

With these plans, by the end of the evening, I should be feeling basically OK. (Similar plans will be made for tomorrow.) I'm very anxious about flying to Los Angeles and spending five days in the company of my parents, and I think this is what is sending me over the edge right now. Work! Work! At least I can control a little bit of my own environment - certainly my own actions (mostly) - and that always makes one feel better.

NB: I am checking off items as they are finished.

Done!

One Thing After Another

I have been doing pretty well at my beat anxiety/work hard routine today. However, something just happened that has thrown me entirely out of equilibrium.

I vacuumed up my phone charger. To my brand-new phone which papertigers got me for our anniversary. The cord was vacuumed up and it broke.

It wouldn't be so bad, really, except that this vacuum has a tendency to suck things up, and I knew it. I thought I was being very, very, very careful. I thought I'd picked everything up. I thought, in short, that I was being conscientious, but I clearly missed something, as I am wont to do. I should have picked up the entire power strip when I was cleaning around all those cables.

I shouldn't be feeling this bad over this issue. I clearly need a cup of tea.

Here is How Joy Can Surprise You

I was whining - I admit it! Oh, it's a sorry state for a person to get into. Then my cousin M. said, "You sucked up a cord? While it was plugged in? You're lucky you didn't get shocked!" That was the cold water of perspective thrown onto my bad mood. After that, I was referred to this page by seraphimsigrist. I encourage you to read it - especially those of you who are puzzled that my brand of Christianity isn't quite what you might have expected. Reading it made me happy enough to giggle and dance.

And it is a relief to have a clean(er) house.