debboamerik

Dear San Francisco,

You might not know this, but I actually do love you. Yes, I ridicule your snobbery. "The City"? Seriously? and my favorite question ever, "Are you from Down South?" - to which I answered, "No," not knowing that we inferior Angelinos are considered to be "from Down South." I thought that was for people from Louisiana.

Still, you are a really important city to me personally, though I didn't start getting to know you until my godmother moved back to SF after my godfather's death. Here are some things I appreciate in San Francisco.

There are the big things: City Lights, Golden Gate Park, fog in the summer, hot fudge sundaes at Ghirardelli Square - these (with, apparently, the exception of the fog, which only Californians are clued in on) are famous everywhere. They are famous for a good reason: because they are excellent.

Then there are the smaller things. I love the used bookstores. I love the coffee-on-every-corner mentality; if you want to read a book but you're tired of being at home, there's always somewhere to go. I love having people speak to me in Italian, as though I could respond in Italian. I love that there are people who notice the Italian beneath the Irish. I love that the food is so good (with the exception of the Mexican food - sorry, can't beat L.A. there).

There are more personal things, too. San Francisco, you were a refuge to me when I felt hemmed in by the smalltown feel of Santa Cruz. I would drive past the sign marking the city limit and immediately feel more relaxed. You house some of my favorite people - my oldest sister and my godmother. You're small enough to feel like a community and big enough to be comfortably anonymous. That's a very hard balance to strike. You're a manageable size; one can get lost in SF, but it's hard to stay lost. Now, you're keeping me minutely updated on the progress of the Prop. 8 case ( sfgate.com , click on the tab that says "news"). You are the traditional refuge for gay people in the United States.

I love you, SF, and I miss you. I'll visit whenever I can (and thanks to my godmother for the continued offer of space and food and fun, though she lives in Sausalito now - still, I hear that the Dark Side has cookies).

Love always,

debboamerik

Today, I got up early because I couldn't bear the anxiety. It's definitely travel anxiety. I don't like airplanes and the prospect of my parents alone is enough to make me nervous, much less my parents + papertigers, makes me nervous. So, since it does in fact make me feel better, here is today's to-do list.

✓teach
✓go to Post Office for money
-go to Target for new charger
✓clean bathtubs
✓clean toilets
✓clean bathroom counters (these are separate because it's fun to check them off)
✓put away clean laundry
✓do dishes (unload and reload)
✓dust
✓clean top of dresser and floor of closet
DONEcook dinner

If and only if there is time (otherwise I'll do this tomorrow):

-scrub stove
-clean oven
-bleach countertops

At least I now know why I've been feeling crazy for the past few days. Now I can try to convince myself that it's not worth being nervous about these things! After all, I've done a lot of traveling in my time. My parents aren't bad sorts, and papertigers is always very good about calming me down when they are driving me crazy. And we'll have a separate car.

Yesterday we took down the Christmas tree and all the decorations. Taking down a Christmas tree is always interesting, just as putting one up is interesting. The ornaments remind me of so many times in my life. There are some that I made or was given as a child. Others we made the year that we had no ornaments and no money to buy any. Some were gifts from Myra's friends. Others were gifts from my friends or coworkers. There are candy canes, which we add to every year. We have them in peppermint, strawberry, cherry, and chocolate mint flavors.

Yesterday I also got called back on two job applications. One is teaching English conversation from home to students in China (via Skype). The other is a tutoring job based in Erbil (Iraqi Kurdistan). I interviewed for that one today; it's an interesting position, and one that I would have jumped at at another time in my life.

On my way back to the Metro from that interview, I saw Subdeacon Ambrose. We stopped and chatted for a moment; he said he hadn't seen me in church, and I replied that I wasn't there because my leg is going bad again. Yesterday it started feeling twinge-y and a little numb. Again. *sigh* I definitely wasn't up for standing on it for an hour and a half.